


Second Lives, Changes and Challenges

by firewolfsg



Category: Criminal Minds, The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 19:51:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4577700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firewolfsg/pseuds/firewolfsg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Aaron Hotchner came online as a Guide, the writing was on the wall with regards to his marriage to Haley and she finally walked out on him with their son. Bad luck that this was the same week Gideon chose to abandon the team too. </p>
<p>Fortunately, the environment at work proves to be much more stable as Section Chief Erin Strauss clears the air between them, and the BAU rallies around their leader for the dual loss of greater importance than Aaron had wanted any to realise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Lives, Changes and Challenges

Having Chip, his Timberwolf spirit animal, suddenly darting under his desk was the only warning Aaron Hotchner received before he heard the knock on his office door. With the mood he was in after the poor news of the previous evening rolling into this morning's disruptive events as well, Aaron really did not want any company. He had shut his door the moment he got in as a deterrent, and so far it had been successful with his teammates. However, Section Chief Erin Strauss was another matter altogether.

"Aaron, were you serious when you claimed you'd never want to leave the BAU?" As a completely unexpected opening line with the arrival of his Supervisor, Aaron had to admit that he wasn't quite sure how Strauss was hoping he'd respond.

Despite the confrontation in Milwaukee, her general mood on the plane ride back to Quantico had not been as frosty as he’d expected. As a matter of fact, Aaron would have put the vibes he had received from her, within the small confines of the jet, as thoughtful with undertones of regret.

However, as an unbound Guide, Aaron knew his emphatic perception, while significantly higher than a normal human, was considered low level and therefore not a sixth sense which he'd implicitly trust unless seated directly across from his focus unsub, or unless he was able to have skin to skin contact of any sort with his target. Still, from where Strauss was standing at the door to his office, Aaron was quite sure he was reading both her body language and emotions as being hopeful and open.

As if his first day back from a two-week suspension hadn't been dizzying enough after returning home the previous night to an empty house and realising Haley had packed up all of her and Jack's belongings and left him. To further throw his mind into confused turmoil, Haley's sister, Jessica, had called the house clearly intending to leave a voice mail, but when he answered, she had spoken amicably to him and even let him say goodnight to Jack. However, she had suggested he hold off talking to Haley until the following weekend.

He had hardly been aware of Chip's almost smothering company after the phone call. Despite his spirit animal’s comforting warm furry presence snuggled up to him in bed, Aaron hadn't slept well. Furthermore, Chip didn't do his usual fade into a small corner of his mind when it was time to go to work in the morning. Aaron knew it was most likely because of Chip's worry for him as much as it was a reflection of his internal devastation for Haley's departure.

It made him remember his younger days when he'd at first thought Chip was just his mind's manifestation of his need for love, affection and protection when his father was beating him. After all, the wolf pup only appeared when no one else was around to see him. Aaron knew better after he'd come online and Chip reappeared.

Having also grown in strength with him, Chip could come and go as he pleased now. It was just that he apparently didn't want to visibly leave Aaron's side since he found out about Haley's departure. The Timberwolf had earned quite a lot of startled though amused looks this morning when they entered the building.

The shocks to his day hadn't ended when he entered his office that morning; instead of receiving a reprimand for joining the case while suspended, Aaron had found a letter of retraction. His suspension had been struck off his records and his time off deducted from his accumulated vacation days, which he'd always had a difficult time using up anyway.

Then a near tearful Reid had charged into his office shortly after, brandishing Gideon's letter of farewell addressed only to the younger man. Aaron had quickly gathered his team in the conference room to share the news of Gideon's abandonment of the BAU and to let their spirit animals snuggled Reid's equally devastated desert fox.

Aaron had finally retreated to his office a half hour earlier, citing the need to do up the paperwork for the Milwaukee case and report on Gideon's departure. To say he was quite off balanced by the many events wouldn't have been a poor assessment of his current mental state.

Chip's head nudge against his knee, brought his churning mind back to the present, reminding him that Chief Strauss was obviously awaiting a response from him. Aaron opted for cautious honesty. "Ma'am, I really would prefer staying with this current appointment."

She eyed him with some intensity for a moment before sighing, locking the door behind her and taking a seat at his desk. "Aaron... I owe you an explanation and honesty."

She looked him in the eye. "I've had pressure from on high since you came online after-- after Boston."

"Y--you've been riding hard on me because I became a Guide?"

"That would be correct. Your elevation to Unit Chief was actually no surprise. We've had this in the succession plan for the BAU since David Rossi brought you to Quantico from Seattle." Strauss told him blandly. "Yes, we were that sure of you.

"However, when you came online as a Guide, the higher ups started to worry about this status."

"Ma'am, it didn't take me a week to adjust, and with Gideon--"

"That marked it." She interrupted his protests, "It was postulated that you came rather abruptly online because of the needs of this team since it was the exact same moment when we lost six agents in Boston. Furthermore, with Gideon down from a-- depressive episode, the team needed a leader and you pushed yourself into recovery and control in an alarmingly short time.

"It shouldn't have been possible for you to adept so quickly." She reminded him. "This just more clearly displayed your potential to be a top level Guide once your gifts are fully opened."

"I-- don't understand..."

"The Bureau wants to ensure you stay with us, Aaron. But you travel excessively because of your current position. What if you meet your Sentinel during one of these out of State cases?"

A floodlight of understanding abruptly strobed into existence, "Ma'am? Really? You wanted me to transfer to a desk job just to keep me here in Quantico?"

"Our Directors wanted you off the field and away from any risk you might meet your Sentinel in another State and thus leave the Bureau." Strauss gave him a sheepish smile. "When we discussed your skills and background, it was decided that I should strongly encourage you to transfer to another division.

"I wasn’t transferring you *out* from under me, Aaron. Being a Unit Chief in the White Collar Crimes division would have been just as good a move for your career and given you a good breath of exposure to your experience as well.

"As a former prosecutor of note, a top notch negotiator, *plus* your years of experience as a profiler? My Assistant overseeing the White Collar units was practically drooling at the idea of having you head a new Unit under him. In a few years when Thomas is ready to retire, I would have put you up for his position and *you* would run the White Collar Division."

"I-- thank you, Ma'am, but I would really rather stay with the BAU."

Strauss sighed, "I gathered that much from Milwaukee. And now I have to come up with some other succession plan within the White Collar Division. Just don't be surprised if Thomas calls you a couple more times this month to try and convince you to change your mind."

"Ma'am, I don't ever want to leave the BAU and my home is in DC. So is my son." Aaron told her honestly, then belatedly remembered his wife. "And Haley--"

"Left you."

"I-- How--?"

"While we were in Milwaukee, she dropped off some paperwork stating her desire to change her status to an unbound Guide. I saw it this morning and came right here."

"Oh..."

"Aaron..." Strauss reached across the table to grip his hand. "Numerous Sentinels and Guides have tried, but marriage to a Normal usually ends in separation or divorce in 99% of the attempts." She told him gently. "As long as you haven't found your Sentinel, you'll continue to feel that void within you that you eventually subsume with work because you can't find that fulfilment in your home life."

Aaron looked down at the warm hands holding his. In all the time Aaron had been a Unit Chief, he had thought that Erin Strauss didn't like him. However, this apparently wasn't the case.

His empathy didn't lie, not when he touched someone skin to skin as she was now in taking his hand. Aaron knew Strauss was very aware about his powers and she really was being completely honest with him. He could feel her genuine concern and worry for him.

Her clear sympathy and concern also made it impossible for Aaron not to be honest with himself too. And his eyes burned with the acknowledgement that there could be nothing to be done about Haley's intention to seek a divorce. He had two weeks home with her, and he just couldn't relax and enjoy the time off...

"The two weeks-- it was for me to try and save my marriage, wasn't it?" He asked her softly.

"I noticed the signs leading there, Aaron. I'm sorry my ruse didn't work. And I am sorry I made you doubt my belief in your abilities."

Aaron looked down at their joined hands, unable to continue to meet the sympathy in her eyes. He and Haley had looked it up too when he became a Guide. Haley had worried about the statistics that 99% of marriages of unbound Guides or Sentinels to Normals broke down. Most times, it was because the Guide or Sentinel met their other half. Aaron had known all along that Haley was never very good about sharing attention. The writing really was on the wall that she'd eventually leave him.

"Aaron, you won't be alone. Out there-- there's a Sentinel for you... *Your* Sentinel. And life is usually good at bringing the fated together. Forgive us if your superiors would rather you met him or her here in DC rather than-- Oh, Arizona."

"I may be a Guide, but I wouldn't have allowed some stranger to make decisions about my life." Aaron looked up at her. "I wouldn't uproot myself from my family, ma'am. I won't give up the BAU, or my son. DC is my home."

"I'm glad to hear that." Strauss raised a teasing eyebrow at him. "John Blackwolf had us shaken and worried nearly a year ago."

"John? I stayed an extra day because he asked if I could talk to a Guide he discovered; a boy. It-- after all 93% of Guides are female, even if Sentinels are 50/50 in gender."

"Are you reminded too often that you're the only male Guide in Quantico?"

"And still unbound in my 40s..." An unusual statistic in and of itself since there were four times more Sentinels than there were Guides, and most Guides were usually found by their Sentinels fairly quickly. Yet Aaron had stayed an unbound Guide for some four years now.

"You'll find your Sentinel, Aaron." Strauss affirmed to him gently. "And knowing you want to keep your position in the BAU? Well, the Directors and I will support you in ensuring you get to stay in DC if any conflict arises; should you meet your Sentinel and he or she demands you leave."

"Would--would a Sentinel actually demand this of their Guide, even if he knows his Guide will be unhappy?"

"Only the abusive ones," Strauss’ hand tightened protectively over Aaron's at this admission. "We will go up high to Ellison and Sandburg for support if any Sentinel dares to try and make you do something you don't want to."

"So-- it's actually all good between us?" Aaron asked her cautiously.

"I deserved that wariness." She quirked a sad smile at him as she gave his hands a last squeeze and released him. "I want it to be okay between us. You are heading one of my best performing units. So I'd prefer it too if you stayed with the BAU."

"There's-- a catch somewhere..."

"Damn profilers." The good-natured manner of the muttered complaint teased his dimples out.

"The higher ups want me to start bringing you to more social events."

Aaron blanched. "Ma'am!"

"And yes, we're going to be introducing you to as many locally settled, unbound, and respectable Sentinels as can be found."

"Ma'am!"

"Aaron, we are seriously worried you'll meet your Sentinel in another State. And given your job chasing down Serial killers? God forbid your Sentinel being one."

Aaron had to swallow hard at that thought. He could guess whom she was thinking of. Aaron knew he had only escaped with his life in the encounter with Vincent Perotta because the Sentinel hadn't used lethal force on him. It was anathema to a Sentinel to deliberately hurt a Guide, bound or not. Fortunately, even though he was a killer, Perotta's nature still followed that character.

As luck would have it, Perotta wasn't his Sentinel. There had been a spark, which told them that Aaron would be well suited to engage and guide Perotta. But there was no pull of want and need.

It had been a particularly difficult case for Aaron. Unbound Sentinels and Guides normally did not touch without invitation, but that time-- it had been the closest Gideon had ever got to him. The Sentinel had actually fussed over him; touching him to loosen his tie and unbutton his collar. It had been almost painful to Aaron have Gideon that close and also not close enough. And later, it hadn't alleviated the Senior Sentinel's worries over him either when Aaron found himself easily empathising with Perotta to subtly extract information and attach significance to the killer's abusive father.

Aaron shook himself out of memories of that case to focus on his supervisor again. "You're also going to insist I replace Gideon with another Sentinel, aren't you?"

"One of equal skill," she nodded firmly. "No need to say that this Sentinel should be compatible with you."

"Would the BAU really need another Sentinel and not just another Profiler? We already have Morgan, Reid and-- Prentiss?"

"Her resignation was withdrawn and 'Yes' she can stay on your team." Strauss mock scowled at him.

"The Sentinels on your team are very young, Aaron. Dr Reid isn't even a year online. Our superiors have expressed a want that you be supported in your position by an experienced Sentinel of a similar calibre as Jason Gideon."

Repeated mention of the absent Sentinel was just getting too much on Aaron's nerves, and he really was trying very hard to control his emotions. But his unbound status was a double edge sword in control of his empathic skills. Sometimes, Aaron could not shut down his sensitivity when touching objects or even when making covered contact with other people. On those days, he had to wear gloves for as much a protection of himself as it was to respect the privacy of others. On some days, he'd even project his emotions, which in a way was why he gained a reputation of being stand offish since he'd adopt a larger field of personal space to avoid letting his emotional state leak onto others.

Today, Section Chief Erin Strauss was just across the desk from him and she was a canny enough agent and supervisor to catch the feelings leaking from him and make the connection. Given what Aaron now knew was her actual feelings about him, it didn't surprise him that she was furious.

"Jason Gideon!? Jason Gideon is your Sentinel?!"

Aaron flinched at her anger. Chip's head and front paws were immediately on his lap offering what comfort he could. Aaron struggled for a moment to gather his wits to try and repeat the practiced lie, but he gave in to honesty instead. "Gideon didn't want me..."

"But--"

"He-- We both believed in the sanctity of marriage, Ma'am." Aaron admitted softly. "If we-- Gideon was *never* going to ask me to give up Haley, especially when he knew she was pregnant. She was already two months along when I came online."

"You came online because *Gideon* was in emotional distress."

"I didn't know it at that time. Gideon was messed up after Boston and avoiding everyone. We only realised what it actually was nearly six months later, and by then--"

"Haley was just a month from giving birth and deciding baby names with you."

"We discussed it. Gideon forbade me to even mention it to Haley. And-- we seemed to hold out okay by refraining from too close contact."

Aaron knew it also helped that for whatever reason Chip just didn't like Gideon. The Sentinel's bear spirit animal, Bruno, was also quite stand offish and clearly did not encourage any approach the few times he appeared to Aaron. So they considered it fortunate that their spirit animals hadn't wanted to push their relationship when Gideon rejected him. Aaron was just thankful that his becoming a Guide hadn't affected the long friendship they shared.

"It explains so much; your unwavering support of him." She glared at him. "Your occasional willingness to ignore your own instincts to accept his advice."

Aaron flinched at her glare as he looked away, unwilling to meet her eyes anymore for the truth laid bare before them. It had always been difficult for him to deny Gideon anything he asked for. It became more so after he came online as a Guide. Aaron had even agreed to ignore the pull of want and need at the very core of him and embrace the void in his heart his Sentinel refused to fill. Haley-- Aaron was sure she must have suspected as well. She had even called Gideon his wife once.

"But now he's run away without a word to you, leaving you to shoulder the blame for his poor advice, leaving a letter *just* for Dr Reid..." Strauss was on her feet with outrage and anger. "Aaron, he's your Sentinel, how could he walked out on you?!"

"He didn't want me..." Aaron gritted determined to hold back the burning in his eyes.

"Because you were already married. Aaron, he doesn't know Haley left you. That should change his mind. We can find him and tell him--"

"No! Ma'am, the accumulation of cases that the BAU handle broke him. Sarah's tortured death, and especially that last case when we misread the situation..." Aaron interrupted her softly. "I would say Gideon left because of that on top of his desire NOT to be my Sentinel.

"Ma'am, our spirit animals didn't get along. Or at least Bruno was completely indifferent to Chip. Gideon's spirit animal got along fine with Reid's fox and Morgan's jaguar. He even acknowledged Prentiss's ocelot. With my Timberwolf though... after I came online-- it was relatively easy to do as Gideon suggested and not act on the-- pull between us because our spirit animals hardly wanted anything to do with each other, even though Gideon and I did stay friends. Or-- at least I thought we were friends..."

"Oh, Aaron..."

"He did date, you know." Aaron told her. "He found a soul mate in another Guide before-- before she was tortured and killed by Frank Breitkopf, one of the unsubs we failed to put away.

"There isn't just one Sentinel to a Guide, ma'am. If Gideon's connection with Sarah showed me something, it was that he and I weren't the only fated ones." Aaron told her with conviction.

"He avoided me and found another Guide who fitted him. I could probably find another Sentinel who would fit with me just as well too. After all, Sentinels do outnumber Guides four to one." He met her eyes. "That's also why I'm so sure I'd never allow a stranger to decide my life for me and force me to leave my home, Ma'am."

"Gideon--"

"Please, just let him go. If it was meant to be between us, he'll come back." Aaron shook his head. "I don't want to force him into something he rejected a long time ago."

"You are far too forgiving man if you can so easily accept him back after he ran without a word to you."

"Who said I'd forgive him without a whole lot of grovelling?" He flashed her a dimpled-grin.

"Well, it's good to know that you'd make him grovel." Strauss sat again and reached across the table to take up Aaron's hand once more. "Aaron, what Gideon did to you was still patently unfair and cruel."

"It--"

"Aaron, your situation isn't unique. I had a Guide come online in a different department and recognise a colleague as her Sentinel. Both her Sentinel and her husband spoke honestly about her relationship with the husband and their children, and with the Sentinel. They determined that they could share their family for her happiness. And they *are* happy. The children have two fathers now. She's expecting another child and no one cares who fathered the child."

"I-- I can't dwell on the ‘what ifs’ now. Haley-- It's-- I've hurt her too much-- We've lost our trust in each other--"

"Would you like me to recommend a family lawyer?"

"I don't-- I'd like to believe our relationship hasn't deteriorated to that bad a state. Jessica-- her sister was still nice to me when we talked last night and she let me say goodnight to Jack."

"That's good to hear." Strauss gave his hand a last squeeze before she rose to her feet.

"Aaron, I am sorry for the pressures I placed on you these last several months, and you know the reasons now. I promise that I will do better to support you."

"Thank you, ma'am." To Aaron's surprise, Chip poked his head out from under his desk to look around the table and allowed Strauss to see him for the first time.

"Oh! Is that--?"

The Timberwolf fully emerged to sit and bask in the Section Chief's admiration, prompting Aaron to give his spirit animal a raised eyebrow for his vanity. "This is Chip. He's letting you see him now because-- you've gained our trust."

"Thank you. I won't betray it, Aaron, Chip."

"Ma'am."

"Don't stay late to catch up on your reports, Aaron."

"Ma'am? I-- really don't have much reason to want to return to an empty house."

"Aaron..."

"Could-- could you hold off on the introductions until-- until after I've spoken to Haley? At least to find out how much access to Jack she will let me have."

"Whatever I arrange will always be with your review and agreement, Aaron." Strauss assured him. "You won't let me hunt down Gideon, so I'd like to try and help you find your Sentinel; if only for my own peace of mind that you won't encounter a Serial killer who'll end up compatible with you."

"If you must... thank you, Ma'am."

She let herself out, leaving Aaron alone to mull over this thoughts and situation until a cautious knock on his door interrupted him.

"Morgan?"

"Hey?" His black subordinate led the way into his office closely followed by Prentiss and Reid. Their spirit animals slipped in too to sniff and snuggle with Chip. The Timberwolf seemed content to bask in their attention.

He shouldn't have been surprised that the Sentinels on his team would want to check on him. Having guided each of them on the field, they shared a small bond with him and despite closed doors, he still should have expected them to feel the strong feelings of disquiet Strauss had unintentionally evoked with their discussion on Gideon.

"Is-- everything all right?" Morgan nudged his head towards the door quite clearly indicating whom he was referring to.

"It's-- it's all good, actually." Aaron admitted with some surprise.

With his personal life and issues in turmoil because of Haley and Gideon's dual departure, the talk he and Strauss had just had was welcomed. In clearing the air between them, Strauss had offered Aaron stability and safety in his job and support in their professional relationship. And this was currently precious beyond words in the roiling quake that was his life.

"We talked about why she used to want me out of the BAU."

"Used to?" Leave it to Reid to notice the syntax.

"Yes, we talked about the root of our issues; my being an unbound Guide and the possibility I'd meet my Sentinel in another State because of how widely we have to travel."

"Hotch--!"

"No, I'd never want to leave the BAU." Aaron quickly interrupted Morgan's worried outburst. "Strauss understands that now and-- offered support."

"Aaannnd Gideon?"

"She offered to hunt him down. I declined."

He felt the flare of protective anger for him over the bonds between him and his Sentinels. Reid, he knew, felt betrayed by Gideon for his abandonment as the older man had become a near parental figure to him, but none of them missed noticing the closer friendship between Aaron and their Senior Sentinel Profiler. Aaron rather hoped the younger Sentinels never realised how compatible they could actually have been if they had only surrendered to the pull of need and want between them.

Aaron heaved a resigned sigh as he could feel the awkwardness and desire to offer comfort radiating from his Sentinels like furnaces. At these close quarters, he also knew that they could almost equally feel a touch of the sorrow he'd felt for the dual departures which he'd tried to hide deep inside.

"No, I'm not all right about Gideon leaving so abruptly. And-- Haley also took Jack and left me last night." Aaron took a deep breath and let it out again slowly. "So I'm-- I'm really not all right, but believe or not, Strauss did help in her offer of support."

"Haley? Shit, man." Morgan was clearly uncomfortable and didn't know what to say about this latest revelation.

"I'm a Guide. Haley and I were warned and counselled on the difficulties when I came online. We thought-- we hoped having Jack would be enough to hold us together."

Aaron noticed Reid biting his lips to keep from speaking. "It's okay, Reid. I know the statistics too."

The awkward silence fell again.

Aaron heaved another sigh before looking up at his agents. "If you don't mind, I'd just like some quiet time to catch up on my paperwork for a while. After all, quite a bit has accumulated while I was on Forced Leave."

"Forced Leave-- Strauss struck off your suspension?" Reid asked with delighted surprise.

"It was just her ruse to give me two weeks away from work to be with Haley and-- try and save my marriage." Aaron quirked a smile at their incredulous expressions, "Unfortunately, I was too stubborn a Guide to accept the break."

"Hotch--"

"Reid, I'm not the only one hurting here. How are *you*?"

The young Sentinel was startled by his concern. "What? Me? Hotch, he left me a fucking letter. But he didn't say or leave anything for you. And he was your Sentinel!"

"Say what?!" Derek and Prentiss stared between Reid and Aaron in stunned outrage.

The lie was caught in his teeth again. And again, Aaron opted for honesty. After all, he did tell Strauss the truth. He could do no less with his own team. "Were we that transparent, Reid?"

Reid coughed in embarrassment. "Oh-- sorry-- I-- I actually wasn't 100% sure. You really weren't very obvious. Just-- a couple of times-- I'd thought Gideon was hovering closer than he really should have. Or-- those few times he was so eager to pull you away from-- from Haley."

Aaron frowned. "It couldn't have been conscious."

"That case when we flew to Mexico on your birthday?" Reid folded his arms over his chest defensively. "We could have tried to do it without you. One day's delay of you joining us wouldn't have hurt us that much."

"Vincent Perotta." Morgan nodded at Aaron joining in Reid's argument. "That Sentinel nearly choked you to death. Gideon was practically all over you checking you out."

"Wait! If Gideon was your Sentinel-- you *never* bonded. How could he deny you?! How could he leave you in agony?!"

"I had a wife with a baby on the way when I came online."

"And didn't he think to talk to Haley?" Prentiss was upset about the situation. "He carried on with a girlfriend in front of you!"

"It can be shut off. I could compartmentalise in and continue to work with him." Aaron let out a long breath in his efforts to control his emotions. "We were biologically compatible, that's all. Look, our spirit animals didn't even get along."

"Which always surprised me when the two of you looked like good friends. You *were* close friends, right? The connection you had couldn't be fake?"

"It wasn't fake to me."

"He still left you without a word." Reid stated angrily. "Hotch, I'm upset and angry with Gideon for walking out on us, but now knowing he was your Sentinel, I'm even more furious with him for the agony he put you through by rejecting you as his Guide and still keeping you so close on hand!"

"Hotch, in hindsight-- yer gotta see how much Gideon got between you and Haley?" Morgan asked him cautiously. "He never liked her even before you came online as a Guide. After that, it got worse, man."

"He never wanted me, Morgan. We discussed it, we both agreed not to act on the pull between us. We believed in the sanctity of marriage. I had Haley and Jack, and he had Sarah." Chip broke away from the other spirit animals to lay his head on Aaron's lap.

"But he was also never supportive of your marriage either." Morgan took several steps closer to lean on Aaron's desk. "Hotch, you know Gideon had a mean streak..."

"Gideon didn't want me." Aaron repeated as he laid a hand on Chip's head, trying to temp down on his distress again. Having already gone through this with Strauss, he really didn't want to revisit the ache he'd felt for Gideon's rejection. "There was friendship, but he just couldn't accept anything deeper. He didn't even want me to say anything to Haley. And to be honest about it, she wouldn't have reacted well to the knowledge either."

"The way he went on? He didn't want Haley to have you either."

"Well... I have neither now." Hotch told them bluntly. "But Reid, Morgan-- do you honestly believe it was Gideon's deliberate end game to destroy my marriage?"

"But he was your Sentinel."

"He didn't want to be my Sentinel." Hotch pinched the skin between his eyes trying to ward off the headache. "If he really was undermining my marriage, I have to believe it was unconscious. Strauss pointed out to me too that she believed I gave in too easily to follow his lead when my instincts wanted me to do otherwise."

"That's why she questioned your leadership." Prentiss gasped. "When-- Hotch, she told me she suspected Gideon was using you like a figurehead. She thought your Guide instincts were influencing you to be too accommodating to the Sentinels on the team.

"Did you believe that?"

"Not at all, but I did think-- I thought Gideon sometimes manipulated the *whole* team's reactions by withholding his insights. You had to be vigilant about catching him. I-- never thought you felt it was withholding information, but a not quite there revelation." Prentis admitted. "At least Reid helped a lot in unconsciously making the intuitive jumps."

"Gideon did like to hold information close to the chest." Aaron murmured.

"He was selfish with his insights." Morgan insisted.

"And he's not here to defend himself from our accusations." Aaron came to his feet dislodging Chip from his lap, but the spirit animal only shifted to lean against his leg instead. "Please, just let it go. He walked out on m--us. I've told Strauss that I have no desire to try and track him down and confront him for leaving us in a lurch without regards to the job, the team, or to our feelings."

Aaron turned to face Reid. "Will you be okay with that?"

"Hotch, Gideon owes *you*--"

"I'm not talking about me, Reid. I'm asking after you."

Reid squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before he opened them to look Aaron straight in the eye. "I was hurt. It hurt like hell last night when I found his letter and I couldn't sleep the whole night... Now I'm just-- I'm just furious with him for leaving the way he did. And I-- I don't-- I don't want him back..."

Reid looked surprised at his own realisation. "I don't. I'm-- I'm really just angry and upset with Gideon right now."

"Then you also have no objections to letting this go; to not seek him out?"

"He was so desperate to leave..." Reid shook his head. "It's on his head to come back and make amends if he values the connection he has-- he used to have with us."

"Hotch?" Prentiss looked at him with ill-disguised concern. "How are you doing? The need that Guides have to discover their Sentinel is so much stronger than a Sentinel's."

"Which is fortunate since you outnumber us four to one. Having only one moping Guide on a team is better than having three moping Sentinels in our current configuration. And who's to say there actually aren't four candidates for the position of my Sentinel and that Gideon was only one of them?"

They all turned to Reid. If there was anyone who had statistics about this...

"It actually isn't that rare." The young profiler brightened at the thought. "There have been numerous examples of trios in history. One out of forty-seven Guides discover their compatibility with two or more Sentinels; equal numbers disasters as much as happy stories, unfortunately. Historians postulated that the Trojan War was fought between two Sentinels over a Guide who loved both equally and couldn't choose--"

"Reid! I think we all would like to know more about the happy stories, please?" Morgan interrupted given Aaron's pained expression.

"Thank you, Reid. But maybe later?" Aaron took a seat again. "My life is suddenly starting to sound like a bad romance novel and you've just reminded me of Strauss's promise to introduce me to every respectable, unbound Sentinel she can discover who lives in DC."

As words of distraction, they were very effective. The mood instantly shifted as Prentiss's eyes widened and her lips lifted in a grin. "Oh, my God! Is that why my mom called me last night to tell me that she's been asked to hold a social gathering at the mansion at least once a quarter?"

Aaron groaned as he covered his face with his hand. "Strauss started the ball rolling *before* telling me?"

"Well at least you know she's going to have these Sentinels background checked and vetted before she introduces them to you." Morgan grinned at him, all good humour restored.

"And it sounds like she doesn't want to get you out of the BAU anymore, so she's just trying to eliminate one of the biggest reasons you might leave, isn't she?" Reid perked up even more. "So that's good, right? Your continued position as our Unit Chief is assured!"

Aaron glared at their grinning faces from between his fingers and growled, "I really DON'T need a boss playing matchmaker."

"Well-- other than a boss meddling in social ways, are you really all right, Hotch?" Morgan turned serious again as he eyed Aaron compassionately.

Aaron took his hand from his face and stared at the pile of files on the corner of his desk for a moment. Chip moved to lay his head on Aaron's lap again. "I'm not ready to say I'm okay just yet." He told them honestly.

"Really, I just need a moment to process it all. And I'd like-- I need a bit of quiet and solitude to do that."

The clear concern that his young Sentinels had for him, washed over Aaron's very core like a soothing balm, but he really wanted to be alone for a while. Fortunately, they understood enough to quietly depart, though Aaron also knew they weren't leaving him far from their thoughts. It took a longer time for the spirit animals to follow their hosts out too.

Aaron let himself sink into the tedium of paperwork. Occasionally rising from the miasma to recognise and acknowledge the numerous tiny gestures of comfort and concern showered upon him by his team in the form of coffee refills, cookies, and even a deliberately placed chicken sandwich accompanied by a cup of soup when it was noticed that he never left his office to eat lunch.

From time to time, various spirit animals also peeked in to check on him and Chip. Chip usually gave them a tail wag from where he lay in front of Aaron's desk, but he apparently wanted some solitude too as he didn't invite them to stay. The one exception was Reid's desert fox, but he only came in for a short cuddle and departed before even a half hour passed. Even the Assistant Director's snowy owl glided in to give them an eyeful before the Sentinel's spirit animal took the hint about unwanted hovering and left to report on them.

With the double blows of Haley walking out on him and Gideon also running without so much as a by your leave within the span of a few days, Aaron knew he was far from all right and that it wasn't going to be easy getting over the pain in his soul. But... the remaining members of his team were supportive. Gracia was certainly practically bubbling over with protective concern and attention, to a point where Aaron knew he'd probably be ambushed with an avalanche of sweets and baked goods in the coming days.

Strauss had already come by to pass him several files and resumes while making overt hints that the FBI Fraternization Rules didn't apply to bonded Sentinels and Guides. Facing the prospect of becoming a bachelor again was daunting enough. The sudden switch from being a 'persecuted' employee to feeling like the virginal daughter of an over protective mom was as disconcerting as it sounded.

As the day wound to a close, Aaron knew that when 6 p.m. rolled in, Morgan and Prentiss would be at his door cajoling him to join them at a team dinner and refusing to let either him or Reid brood alone. JJ and Gracia would probably make sure he left his desk too by taking away his case files or remotely shutting down his notebook.

In truth, Aaron couldn't say he was that much poorer for Haley and Gideon's absence in his life. He'd have regrets about Jack, but Jessica had been friendly and sympathetic and even if Haley didn't love him anymore, it seemed as if they were open about allowing him continued contact with his son. In fact, if the text he received from Jessica that afternoon was any indication, his soon to be ex-sister-in-law was going to also try her hand at the match making game herself.

If Aaron thought about it... After he had come online, Jessica was the one most interested in the changes being a Guide brought to his perceptions. Likewise, she had seemed rather more interested in alleviating the new hollow feeling that had taken root at the core of him since his awakening as a Guide. Aaron had a sinking suspicion that once Haley got over the pain of the divorce, she'd take a hand as a co-conspirator in finding his Sentinel too; after all they had been BFFs before their marriage. Aaron rather hoped that friendship would survive the divorce.

However, as if it weren't embarrassment enough to have Strauss and by the sounds of it Ambassador Prentiss play matchmaker; Aaron rather hoped his team wasn't thinking of throwing a hand into the efforts of the two parties too. Or, God help him, linking the two groups up.

Still... it was gratifying to know that quite a crowd of-- friends expected him to eventually find his Sentinel; and also believe that Gideon wasn't the only one for him. It was a nice thought Aaron hope would eventually overtake the ache left within him for the departure of two people he'd once loved and relied upon to hold up the foundations of his life.

Chip nudged his arm, prompting Aaron to realise he was lost in his thoughts again. He put down his pen to turn towards his spirit animal to spend a bit of time petting and fussing over his true best friend and constant companion since his first awareness of him as a child.

Soothing emotions of love and encouragement came over their unbreakable bond. It made Aaron realise he had never been alone since Chip came into his life.

There was an emotion of reproach and a glare from the wolf, which made Aaron smile at the way his spirit animal obviously correctly read his mind. So 'yes' even Chip was confident he'd find his Sentinel too.

The wolf snorted and shook his head as an image of a ratty and ragged teddy bear appeared in Aaron's mind nearly making him laugh. Chip really didn't like Bruno. As much as Aaron was good friends with Gideon, Chip was apparently quite glad the man hadn't wanted to be Aaron's Sentinel.

An indistinct image popped into Aaron's mind. From the vague shapes, Aaron had the impression it was a man and a large feline. "Who is this, Chip?"

The Timberwolf pushed himself closer to nudge at Aaron's chest. Aaron stared down at him. "Do you *already* know who my Sentinel is?"

The Timberwolf shook his head and gave Aaron a raised eyebrow, this time drawing a snort of laughter from him. "Okay, I guess there really isn't any way to avoid Strauss's matchmaking efforts, is there?"

The Timberwolf huffed a resigned sigh and gave Aaron a conciliatory lick to his face before getting off his lap again. The move heralded a knock on his door prompting Aaron to notice that it was already 6 p.m. Morgan and Prentiss were right on schedule like he'd thought.

Chip nudged Aaron on the other side of the chair towards the door. "All right, Chip. I hear you." Then raising his voice, he called to Morgan to come in.

As the door opened, Arron couldn't help but feel that this was like-- this *was* the door opening to the start of his new life as a bachelor and a Guide open to actually look for his Sentinel. Also, with proven friends and a boss actively looking out for his own interest too, Aaron supposed he needn't be that apprehensive and jaded about prospects for his future. After all, Chip seemed quite confident he did have a Sentinel in his future.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, CM fandom. A small first contribution to this fandom. 
> 
> I am thankful that this show got me over a nearly two year desert of new story telling, so I hope this first fanfic after such a long hiatus still made a decent read. 
> 
> I'm mulling doing a sequel to this too, but I'm not sure who to make Hotch's Sentinel. Hotch/Reid pairings are well represented already so I feel no urge in that direction.
> 
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> Cheers,
> 
> firewolf


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